Learn to Swim!

“It is simply no good trying to keep any thrill: that is the very worst thing you can do. Let the thrill go…and you will find you are living in a world of new thrills all the time…. It is much better fun to learn to swim than to go on endlessly (and hopelessly) trying to get back the feeling you had when you first went paddling as a small boy.”
~ Mere Christianity

I read this quote today in a post from the Official C.S. Lewis Facebook page and it immediately jumped into a marriage context! (This was only the 2nd time that something has triggered a post in this manner since my husband’s accident back in November. I didn’t really realize it at the time, but I’m pretty sure I had another brush with seasonal depression these past few months.)

But I thought about how love grows and changes over many years. New love IS exciting! You can’t wait to see the one you love– you spend hours on the phone, learning about one another, making plans, and finally, just listening to each other breathe because you’ve said all you can think of but you can’t bear to hang up the phone. But at some point, all that changes. (Funny real life coincidence: This week one of my teacher friends was trying to explain this concept of long-married relationships to her high school seniors who were reading Pride and Prejudice. She told of hours on the phone when she was dating her husband– but said after 15 years of marriage, she’s over listening to him breathe!) Real life steps in. It’s different, but not worse.

Possibly no matter how long you have dated and how well you know each other when you are newlyweds, life is exciting when you are newly married– the parties and showers, the wedding and honeymoon,  a new place to live, SEX (sorry Sis and Sunshine), making plans for the future, etc. It’s all very energizing. But at some point, things change. You get cramps. He goes in his man cave. You both get tired and cranky. You have arguments, and make up. You work together on your home. Maybe you do something terribly unglamorous like changing out a toilet or dig up a sewer line. You nurse one another through illnesses. You become FAMILY. The everyday-ness of ordinary life becomes the norm. (I wrote a post about joy displayed as a fruit of the Spirit in marriage through hard times, a similar idea.)

It happens very gradually, but it will happen. And hopefully, you will recognize it and not fight it (“endlessly [and hopelessly] trying to get back the feeling”), but appreciate it for what it is: “learning to swim,” not “paddling like you did.” You develop true intimacy. Not just sexual intimacy, but emotional and spiritual intimacy. You become one another’s most trusted confidante and biggest fan. You know each other’s greatest strengths and trust each other with your greatest weaknesses. You fail one another and even hurt one another, but then you forgive and work to grow closer. You experience life together, secure in the knowledge that you are FOR each other, no matter what. Forever.

This song goes perfectly. I played it for Mr X the morning of our 30th anniversary. Thanks to our son-in-law (Mr. Sis) who sang it in one of his college recitals and introduced it to me.)

A Merry Heart– April 7

A merry heart is good medicine…

Proverbs 17:22

 

Stop by the church! (Click to see the video.)

If you’ve never seen or heard Babbie Mason, you are in for a treat today! Listen while you’re getting ready for church. (Click the picture to visit Babbie’s website.)

Fun with Crescent Rolls– Lemon Rolls

 

When I published my “Use it Up– Fun with Crescent Rolls” post I got so many comments about how my readers used them, I decided that Crescent Rolls deserved their own mini-series! The first post concentrated on recreating leftovers as Second Generation Meals– and I made blueberry turnovers and chicken pot pie from blueberry pie filling and chicken soup.

Susan from This Happy Mom said her mom used to mix cream cheese, lemon juice, and powdered sugar to spread on before rolling and cooking– so I got inspired!

I started with these ingredients.

   

If you don’t have a lemon juicer, you need one! I’ve had this one since I got married. I like it because it has a strainer in the top to catch seeds and pulp, and measurements on the side.

Combine 1-8 oz package of cream cheese, 1/4 C lemon juice, and 1/2 C + 2 TBS powdered sugar and blend with a mixer till very smooth. Roll out the rolls then spoon some of the mixture onto them.

NOTE TO SELF: While lemons and cream cheese are easier to work with if you let them come to room temp first, Crescent Rolls are not! I took them all out of the frig for a picture and forgot to put them back. The rolls were stretchy and sticky. Since I was experimenting, I tried several ways. All started with a generous supply of the lemon filling.

I added cinnamon– this was my favorite. I wondered about the lemon/cinnamon combination but I really liked it.

I made a “calzone,” with a little more filling, and pinched the sides together.

Here’s how they turned out.

Honestly, Mr X wasn’t crazy about them. But I really liked them, and they didn’t last long when I took them to school. They were a big hit with the high school crowd!

And I tried a couple of second generation uses for the lemon filling, as this will be more than you need for one can of rolls– it makes a wonderful, tart pudding. Refrigerated, it gets to the perfect consistency. OR use it as a fruit dip or a fruit salad dressing. It has just the right creamy/tart/sweet taste to dress it up.

Jesus is Calling

One of my students shared a page in her devotional (from April 1) on Facebook– from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. (There is a free app that I just found– it looks good!) I think it was written for me, or maybe for me and all those other Marthas that get caught up in our own agendas either from an overblown sense of importance or an unrealistic view of our time, energy, and schedules. (Or it could be some other reason.  I’ve noticed how often I make sweeping statements, like I know everything. But I’ve seen and experienced these two.)

Here are some excerpts:

I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me.

This reminds me of Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God. (If you click the link and scroll down, you will find several links to free ebooks and audio books.) He was a 17th-century French soldier turned monk, and he worked in the kitchen most of his monastic life. He was able to keep that constant communion with God going, through whatever mundane task he was doing. I need to keep myself from getting so “into” my tasks that I get “out of” God’s presence. He doesn’t move. I don’t need to either.

You yearn for a simplified lifestyle… But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world… find Me in the midst of it all.

This one punched me right in the face. I have pinned so many pins about simplification and organization. Read books. Gleaned websites. Made lists. All with the hope that this time, it would really work, and I would float along sort of like a Stepford wife, with an aura of peace and serenity around me, my yard manicured, my hair done, my weight ideal, while I dusted my pristine house every Tuesday morning before work, or whatever other job was on my list for that day and that time slot. Truly, I work better with a schedule because I don’t have an inner clock/calendar and I really can’t remember when I vacuumed or washed my hair last. But I have a tendency to get obsessive about my schedule when I’m stressed and feel out of control of my life. A working schedule gives the illusion that I’m in control of SOMETHING.

Remember your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you [NEWSFLASH!]; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone… Do not let your to-do list become an idol…

I have had a difficult several weeks. High stress, low energy, lots to do, plus I’m pretty sure I’m hitting menopause, which is making everything twice as bad. Bad combination! So lots has gone undone, especially at my house. The yard has taken priority because of the season (though there’s still a ton to be done everywhere I look), and the house has gotten more and more undone.

But God tells me to talk to Him. Listen to Him. Slow down. Take a breath. Work a little and rest a little each day. Hire help. Calm down.

Is He talking to you, too? I’m praying for our peace. In the midst of our messy lives.

Come unto me, all ye who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

The Holy Bird

In the South, chicken is sometimes called the Holy Bird, because it was fed to so many preachers (usually fried) for Sunday dinner! (In the rural South, the midday meal is still called “dinner” and the evening meal is “supper.”)

Besides being so good for you, it is my favorite meat. I tried a couple of new things lately that I want to share with you. Normally I roast or grill it, but it can be tricky to get the right balance of done enough and tender. So I decided to marinate it in an herb/olive oil mixture. YUM!

I added a tablespoon or more of dried basil, parley, sage, and oregano, plus about a teaspoon of salt and pepper to a zipper bag; then about 1/4 cup olive oil. The longer you let it sit, the more flavor the oil will take on. Unfortunately, I’ve been working by the seat of my pants lately and didn’t wait at all.

Trim the fat, then cut the chicken into uniform, small pieces. Add to the bag and turn it until the chicken is well-coated. Again, the longer you wait, the more flavorful it will be. But it’s still good if you don’t wait at all.

Here’s where I diverged from my normal way– I would usually put it on the grill or on a rack in a 425-degree oven. Instead, I put them in a 9×13 pan, right on the bottom. I poured the remaining oil over the top. Baked at 425 for about 30 minutes. As always, I tested it with my handy-dandy meat thermometer! While it wasn’t brown, it was done. You could also have braised it (cooked in a skillet without adding more oil) at this point and it would be good too– But you would have to watch it and turn it — this was so much easier! There was enough for several meals and lunches… it’s been so crazy at our house there were no Second Generation meals happening; it was just plain old leftovers!

And then tonight I was preparing chicken salad for a baby shower tomorrow– I had to make enough for 24 sandwiches, and I’m the world’s worst at estimating how much I need, so I just figured A LOT! I wanted the chicken to be tender (not hard edges like you sometimes get with roasting), but full of its flavor, so I first thought I should boil it. But I’m convinced that when you get that wonderful broth, some of that flavor had to leave the meat itself– so I tried steaming it. This was my first time to do it; I used my steamer but could only fit 3 breasts in the pan, so I did the rest on the rack in my roasting pan, with water covering the bottom, and wrapped in foil.

First I trimmed the fat off and split the breasts a bit so they wouldn’t be too thick, then seasoned with salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

Put them in the steamer and on the roasting pan. (This actually looks like after they cooked.) They won’t brown cooking this way, so use your meat thermometer and get them to 180 degrees F. Once the water in the pan begins to boil, turn it down some, just enough to maintain a boil– boiling water doesn’t get hotter; it just boils out. I set the oven at 425. Both ways were ready in about 35 minutes.

 

Meanwhile, I prepared my “extras” for the salad. I like a LOT of stuff in there. Mayonnaise AND Miracle Whip, salt and pepper, pickle relish, celery, 6 boiled eggs, pecans, and (not pictured) an apple and about 1/2 c onion. (I probably could have used more onion.)

I toasted the pecans in a skillet for 5 minutes. It just brings out the flavor a bit more.

I had to split the mixture between 2 bowls because I don’t have one big enough for it all! But once it was mixed, I put it all back in one. All the flavors can get to know one another, and tomorrow I’ll serve it up with croissants. It’ll be very girly, but if you pile it on thick toasted bread, it’s hearty enough for guys too!

A Merry Heart– March 31

A merry heart is good medicine…

Proverbs 17:22

I’ve seen this one lots of times but it still makes me giggle every time! Hope you have a wonderful Easter!

 

Around the Garden– March 30

Spring is definitely here in Southeast Texas, although we had a slight hiccup and some near-freezing temps early this week! I picked this little bouquet a few weeks ago- daffodils, narcissus, hyacinth, saucer magnolia (tulip tree), camellia, and some rosemary sprigs.

Early this season we visited the farm of a good friend and I got a load of manure and topsoil– if you are a gardener, you know how excited I was! Plus, I got to see several baby cows!

I planted lettuce for the first time– it’s looking beautiful! I planted more in the ground, and some more in a large pot, several weeks apart. I wish I liked radishes– they looks pretty but taste like dirt to me.

I got an apple tree this year. As with any new bed, I like to lay down several layers of newspaper to kill out the grass and weeds. Mr X used a piece of twine as a handy little compass to make the brick border an even circle. Then “we” (there’s the “marital we” again) saturated the newspapers, then topped with a thick layer of leaf mulch, which we also saturated.

I’m afraid the broccoli is about done. From what I’ve read, when the temps get about 70, they begin bolting to flower and seed. I put in some newer ones about a month ago, thinking that it was the age of the plant that made a difference, but they are flowering too.

Basil seedlings coming up. I need to pot them up!

I didn’t know that saucer magnolia would root where it touches the ground, like azaleas do. Here are 3 new ones that took root. I hope they will grow into new trees!

How is your garden growing?

A Merry Heart– March 24

A merry heart is good medicine…
Proverbs 17:22

I dare you to watch this without smiling! Hope your Sunday is wonderful and a start to a great week. (PS According to Wikipedia, the video was dedicated to his fiancée (wife since 2011), who is the pretty blonde woman in the video. AWWWWW)

The Rest of the Story

Several years ago I heard a very good presenter at a teacher inservice– she did an exercise designed to teach empathy for others. I called it “The Rest of the Story” and adapted it for use with my students. You might be able to use this idea– it’s very powerful. I started with this necklace:

I instructed the kids to find everything ugly about it that they could. Now I teach some sweet kiddos and it was difficult, but I pushed them. Some of the comments I heard–

“It’s out of style.”

“It looks cheap.”

“The eyes are creepy.”

“The gold is worn off.”

Mama as a young woman

So then I told them the rest of the story. My mother had her 2nd major stroke at age 66. (She had had her first at 52, and took an early medical retirement; she and my daddy divorced 5 years later and for those intervening years she lived a wonderful, independent life in an apartment complex with lots of little old ladies for her to take care of.) After the 2nd stroke she was paralyzed on one side and moved into a nursing home in our town, which she viewed as another place with lots of little old ladies for her to take care of! She played dominoes, wrote letters, visited people in their rooms– she was such a sweet, kind person. More than anything, she loved to give gifts, all her life. When she went to the nursing home she had no money saved and was living on her teacher retirement. That all went to cover her costs and she was allowed a very small amount each month for personal items. It was not enough to payroll her love for giving gifts! But at the home, lots of their activities let them win “money,” and then occasionally they would have a “store” where they could buy things. People would donate items to use, or they would have crafts that the residents made. Mama bought this necklace for me and gave it to me. I can’t remember if it was for something special, or just because.

And I love it.

The truth is, I sort of agree with those statements at the top. But it reminds me that my mother was an incredible person. It would have been so easy for her to say, “I can’t get a set of dishes, or a favorite book, or take Melinda shopping, [all things she had done]; all I can get is this old thing,” and be too proud or embarrassed and not do it. But she did it anyway, and was still thrilled to be able to give a gift to her daughter. She was the epitome of “Bloom where you are planted.” My mother bloomed all her life.

I lived within 5 miles of her and saw her several times a week, but she wrote lots of letters too. Neat.

Mama at Halloween in the nursing home. Isn’t this great?

And this is one of my favorites. To me it shows the joy that she kept throughout her life, in spite of the many challenges that would have turned a lesser person bitter. Her sweet spirit never left her.

By the way- the exercise was a success. As I told the story, I got weepy, and then they got weepy. We then articulated that you can find something ugly about anything and anybody. But you can also find something beautiful. And many times, only the ugly is visible until you know the rest of the story.

Quiet Time with a Little Help from my Friends

A few weeks ago I asked for input from my friends and readers about the logistics of their prayer and quiet time. I like to do that in the morning, but I’m very slow to “rise to the surface” and be able to hold a conversation with the Lord (or anyone else) or to read anything that requires much thought, which I believe a quiet time should do. Then you know how it is after work, trying to take care of all the home stuff. Consequently, my prayer life is not what it should be.

So, thinking that surely I’m not the only one facing this kind of challenge, I put out an SOS and consulted my Board of Directors! … Here’s what I got back. And please, if you have something that works for you, leave it in the comments. Even if you think it’s simple and VERY obvious– it’s not! Sometimes we need a V8 moment to make us see a very simple thing.

Lisa at Deep and Wonderful Thoughts shared this:

Hey there! Here is my first post. It’s very short, but conveys a picture and a message on prayer and the bible. http://deepandwonderfulthoughts.wordpress.com/2012/08/25/solar-powered/ I hope it helps.
Have you ever heard of BSF (Bible study Fellowship)? It is a daily bible study and a world wide organization. Fabulous! That is what I do. There are 6 day’s questions and on the 7th day, we discuss them as a group. Here is a link….if you’re interested. http://preview.bsfinternational.org/about

Denise at Rejoycin’ said:

Hi,
(1) Group support is always good, At different times I have been involved in meeting with a bible study group and we selected a topic book to guide us– sometimes videos.

(2) Otherwise, I love this link for options:
http://www.esvbible.org/devotions/
There are numerous options that you can browse through to see what interests you. Perhaps start with a short devotion, such as “Daily Proverbs” for 31 Days. Currently, I have been using “Daily Light on the Daily Path” which is very rich.

Unfortunately, I haven’t done cover to cover– although I tried numerous times. I wind up picking up a (3) Jack Hayford study book and doing a topic study or choose a book and use:

(4) Pastor Chuck Smith Commentaries… love this guy!!!!
http://www.blueletterbible.org/commentaries/comm_author.cfm?AuthorID=1

If you decide you would like a partner or online accountability group, I am game.
Online seems to work for me that is why I like #2, the esvbible.org/devotions… you can write online and take notes in your online bible. ESV has become my base bible after much research is choosing.

From Sarah Tun at A Life Examined:

Honestly, to grow prayer time and depth, I find rising early best… when the house is quiet and there are fewer distractions. God meets us whenever, wherever we are, if we’ll just engage with Him.

Linda from  Life Station Express shared:

Early on, back in the day, yes I believe it was the late 80′s or early 90′s we had a woman come speak at a women’s conference at our church. Her name…Joyce Meyer. Yes, before she became JOYCE MEYER!!!   Ha ha, well she said something in her teaching that I never forgot. She said she would get so upset when she couldn’t keep a rigid bible reading schedule for herself. Beating herself up when she just couldn’t get it all in at the proper time each day.
She said that she finally learned that for some folks reading in the morning works, for others, evenings, and still for others, before bed. Some used a bible study format, others used daily reading guides and yet others read as lead. Whenever, whatever, however, it matters not. What does matter, is that you spend some time in reading and prayer with the Lord.
Some of us need that rigid schedule and that is fine, for others going at it a bit more freely is ok too. I fall into the second category, but respect those who meet with the Lord at a scheduled time each day.
Taking God along with me as I go face the day is imperative! Spending time with Him also. But how I do it often varies with the day too.
Hope this helps! He wants our heart, our time and our life. How we work that out is important to Him too. He embraces our desire to be with Him each day.
Thanks for the great posts! Linda

Lori, an IRL friend and coworker said this:

Hey Melinda- I have always struggled with a quiet time also. I think almost everyone struggles with a structured quiet time. Recently my husband and I started a study with 12 other people called “Masterlife.” it has completely helped! Thats not to say some of the others I’ve been through we’re not fantastic. I loved Ruth by Kelley Minter.  There is so much I could write but I will stop before it gets too long.

My brilliant son-in-law (I’m being serious, not sarcastic) shared his way:

Go to: usccb.org and read the Catholic Mass readings for the day

Go to: dailyscripture.net and read a reflection on those readings

Go to: http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/daily.html to read another reflection on those reading

Go to: http://www.loyolapress.com/daily-inspirations.htm to read one final short reflection on those readings

 Then I spend about 10-12 mins meditating, usually on something from the readings (new 2013 practice that really helps me stay centered)

 Then I read email reflections that my mom forwards: one from Proverbs 31 ministries and one from Girlfriends in God. 

 Works very well for me.

(Back to Auntie Em) And isn’t it funny how God works? Right after I asked for suggestions, a friend posted on Facebook that she wanted to start a FB Good Morning Girls group. I’ve seen their studies and glanced over their SOAP method, but have never done one. So I took the hint from God and signed up! We are starting next Monday morning.

Thank you so much to everyone who shared! My prayer is that we will all find SOMETHING that works for us… and remember, that ultimately, God is our Heavenly Father who loves us. We don’t have to use a system or ritual; we just need to plug in to our Source of life and power, regularly, and with intention.