Auntie Em's Guide to Life

A guide to all the important things in life- marriage, family, cooking, gardening, reading, travel, Christian living… And whatever else grabs my attention!

12 Days (of Encouraging your Spouse) of Christmas

on December 10, 2012

12 Days of Christmas,animals,birds,characters,songs,fruits,nature,trees,pears,plants,special occasionsRecently I had a request for a post sharing concrete tips for how to encourage our husbands. This idea has been floating around since then, and I was trying to come up with a “12 days of Christmas” post, and finally they came together! Now you can be historically accurate and put this into practice on December 25- January 5, or go with the more Americanized (commercialized) calendar and use the days leading up to Christmas, and so begin on December 14. (If you want to read all about it, visit this Wikipedia article.)

The idea is simple: instead of random acts of kindness, do intentional ones. We should constantly be listening to our spouses, studying them, to figure out what they want and need. My husband, Mr X is hard to buy for, because he doesn’t really want much, and when he does, he buys it! But there are things I can to show him I love him and I’m thinking about him. And for him, thinking about him and taking time out of my day to do something just for him is what means the most to him.

These ideas are meant to be a springboard to get you thinking and get your creativity going. You can take any of the ideas and do that one for 12 days– for instance, if his love language is gifts, get him a gift for 12 days. Acts of service? Make his lunch for 12 days. Or you can do different ones every day, or any combination, but do SOMETHING extra for all 12 days.

Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. Pray for him. And let him know. Send him a text or leave a note telling him how you prayed for him. (If there is a particular challenge happening in his life, if he’s traveling, if he’s been sick, etc.) Find a Scripture that you claim for him and pray for him. I like Psalm 1: 1-3.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

2. Give gifts. They can be as simple as bringing home his favorite candy when you go to the grocery store, but make a gift of it– put it in a gift bag; wrap it up; hide it in the glove box in his car and give clues. A classic movie on DVD… If he likes clothes, you have a few more choices. A mug or insulated glass from his favorite sports team. You don’t have to break the bank.

3. Leave him notes. If affirming words are his love language, he will absolutely love this idea, and even if they are not, he will still enjoy sweet words from his sweetheart. Say WHY you love him, WHAT you love and appreciate about him, HOW he makes you love him. Stash them around where he will find them gradually- in his bathroom drawer, in the pockets of clothes, in a book he’s reading, etc. If you have little ones, they can write encouraging notes for dad too. Mr X still has notes and bookmarks that our kids made him years ago. Those things are special!

4. Give him coupons. For anything from taking over one of his chores to making his favorite food to … *wink*wink*  Go all out and create some drama here– call it a Night of Dreams or something; build it up for several days, talking about it, sending text or email hints; arrange for the kiddos to go away; get something new to wear; eat a romantic meal; set the mood with music and candles. You will have one happy man who feels like a king.

5. Do something he likes. Stay off the computer– watch the fights with him– invite his friends over– Mr X likes me to play the piano.

6. Initiate intimacy. Don’t wait for him to start. Even for long-married couples, the risk of rejection is a scary thing for a man; he really does want you for more than just sex; and when his beloved wants to be intimate with him, he feels like the king of the castle. Besides the chemical rush that creates bonding between the two of you, he feels more confident to take on any challenge that come his way at work.

Okay– that’s enough to get you started. We’ll do the next 6 on Wednesday. Are you getting some ideas? Let’s share them and make our husbands feel really loved this Christmas!

30 responses to “12 Days (of Encouraging your Spouse) of Christmas

  1. The notes are fun! I like to put notes in his lunch sometimes as a surprise. 🙂

  2. Jelli says:

    My husband really likes scavenger hunts, but I’ve never thought to use the glove box! Loved this idea as well as praying Scripture and letting him know about it. In general, when I’ve prayed for my husband, unless he was there with me, I never really even thought about telling him just what I’d been praying. Thanks for the tips. Looking forward to the next 6!

  3. Pamela says:

    Such good ideas! After 37 years I sometimes get stumped on how to bless my husband. Two weeks ago I gave him an “I’m proud of you gift.” It blessed me just seeing how he felt about it. Love your scavenger hunt idea.

  4. Sweet ideas for the sweetheart in our life! Just this morning I sent my hubbie off with encouraging words. He is giving his first speech tonight at our Toastmaster’s meeting, and I told him he would do great, that he is far better than he is giving himself credit for, and that our group would enjoy his topic. He surprised me with his very heartfelt “thank you”. I knew he was nervous, but just didn’t realize how much so, and didn’t realize how important my words were.

    Thanks for the encouragement here. We just don’t know how much someone might need or appreciate some simple words of help and hope until we share them!

    • Auntie Em says:

      We ALL need reminding! You are so right— I can remember things that were said to me that made a big impression, and people have said the same thing to me– oftentimes things I don’t even remember saying!

  5. thoughtsfromanamericanwoman says:

    What a lovely reminder, thank you.

  6. Lori says:

    I love “instead of practicing random acts of kindness, practice intentional ones.” YES! Heading out the door with these wise words ringing in my ears 🙂

  7. Becca says:

    Good tips for a healthy marriage! Thanks for sharing at A Humble Bumble 🙂

  8. withalljoy says:

    This is a great list! This year one of the things I am giving my husband is a # (And Counting!) Reasons Why I Love You – I have been writing down a reason since August and am compiling them in an album with pictures. (We have the same blog theme, by the way!)

    • Auntie Em says:

      I just visited you, and wow; that looks familiar! Great minds, you know. What a great idea for a Christmas present– I know that will mean a lot to him! Thanks for visiting, and staying around to comment!

  9. shortybear says:

    Awesome ideas, thanks.

  10. […] 12 Days (of encouraging your spouse) of Christmas […]

  11. Great ideas here Auntie Em! 🙂 Thank you for sharing and linking up at Simply Helping Him! Blessings!

  12. What a great post! I really need to be better at this than I am. Its hard some days with the kids being so little and I tend to zone in there and forget to encourage my husband. Thank you for linking this one up!

  13. Corinna says:

    Hi there,
    Just stopping over from the Harvest of Friends blog hop! So glad I came across your blog. Now following you on Twitter and Facebook! If you have a moment to follow back, you can find me at Thanks!
    Corinna from The Sweet Spot Blog

  14. optimisticgladness says:

    This sounds so much like the book “Fire proofing your marriage.” What great ideas!

  15. […] 12 Days (of Encouraging your Spouse) of Christmas ( […]

  16. […] Good seed looks for ways to serve her spouse, (speak his love language) whether it’s helping with a project, picking up the […]

  17. […]   I just read a wonderful post over at ‘Auntie Em’s Guide to Life’ called ‘12 Days (of Encouragement) of Christmas‘ that challenged me to keep that thought going for 10 Days of Encouraging Your […]

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