Auntie Em's Guide to Life

A guide to all the important things in life- marriage, family, cooking, gardening, reading, travel, Christian living… And whatever else grabs my attention!

A Merry Heart– April 15

A merry heart is good medicine…

Proverbs 17:22

I spent most of the day in the garden yesterday so in honor of God’s wonderful handiwork, enjoy the beauty of flowers blooming!

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A Merry Heart– March 31

A merry heart is good medicine…

Proverbs 17:22

I’ve seen this one lots of times but it still makes me giggle every time! Hope you have a wonderful Easter!

 

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A Merry Heart–December 9

 

A merry heart is good medicine.
Proverbs 17:22

 

Today my Merry Heart is a bit different than usual — in honor of Mr X’s being released by the doctor following his motorcycle accident, I will share some of the corny jokes that he and Sunshine love to ┬átorture entertain us with.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye deer. (Say it out loud and pretend you’re from Texas. It’ll make sense.)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no-eye deer.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter, he’s not coming anyway.

Why do dogs make such lousy dancers?
Because they have two left feet!

What’s the #1 use for cowhide?
To hold cows together

How many sides are on a barrel?
2– the inside and outside

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work

How far can a dog run into the woods?
Halfway. After that, he’s running out!

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick

What does a fish say when he runs into a wall?
“Dam!”

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
U-nique up on him!

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.

What kind of jelly does a whale eat on his toast?
Jelly fish

Which is the funniest state?
Joke-lahoma

Why are there so many Smiths in the Houston phone book?
They all have phones.

 

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Your Sunday Merriment– September 16. 2012

A merry heart is like good medicine…

Psalm 17:22

Today’s dose of merriment is actually 3 separate servings… and as my old pastor used to say, “If this don’t light your fire, your wood’s wet!” Wintley Phipps has an incredible bass voice and is a fabulous storyteller- so prepare for a little music history and a whole lot of beautiful music in Amazing Grace!

Then there’s his rendition of the Creation, reading the poem by James W. Johnson:

And one more: Go down, Death!

Read more about this amazing artist and minister here, and have a wonderful Sunday! Join me tomorrow for Revive your Marriage: Revive your Friendship!

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